Week 25

This week I feel the urge to rant about cup sizes. And, before you blokes turn away from your computer screens with a maidenly blush upon your freshly shaven cheeks, that's not the sort of cup size I mean.

I've given up with the Weight Loss Resources website which I've been using to track my calorie consumption so far. Since April I've been unable to access it properly at work - something to do with temporary cacheing or some such technobabble. This has reduced my motivation as I cannot record the calories I've "earned" from my walk to work or track the latest expensive Count on Us product I've bought from M&S for lunch.

So I've moved onto a new online service, called MyFoodDiary.com, which is much more attractive to use. It has all sorts of tricks to help motivation - from a series of enlightening quotations (and you all know I like my quotes) to little smiley faces telling me "Saturated fats only accounted for 5.5% of your calories. Good job staying below the 9% limit!"

But there's a catch. It's American. And the Americans not only have very different foods to us (what is a corn grit anyway!?), but they also measure it differently. Hence the cup size rant. I can't have 75g of blueberries - or even 3oz - I have to have them by the cup. And a quick survey of my kitchen cupboard (or board of cups, if you will) supplies me with quite a variety of such vessels, ranging from espresso size to latte grande with all the trimmings. Once I've decided upon the cup, the possibilities for creative calorie accountancy still seem to be legion. You can fit a whole lot more blueberries in a cup if you pulverise them first. Similarly, cereal soaked in water can be squelched into the measure, enabling the cunning dieter to eliminate all that irritating air which previously took up valuable room. Melted chocolate must also be given very serious consideration - yes, very serious consideration indeed.....

Anyway, I'm sure you'll all be thrilled to know that my new motivation has held firm (well at least for the last 4 or 5 days) and I have shifted another pound this week. I've been so good that I expected it to be more, but let's hope the weight loss speeds up from now so my cup size can be a cappuccino before I know it!



Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there
Will Rogers

Week 24

Well, dear readers, I really think the motivation may be back with me as of two days ago. Unfortunately I'd put on some more weight before then but I've taken that off again and one more pound so I'm heading back in the right direction.

My generous mother offered a bottle of bubbly for the best suggestion for revitalising my motivation. There are a number of suggestions which warrant commendation:

• Peter's list of great ideas which include the purchase of some really expensive and desirous garment in a smaller size, a shiny medal, and the fact that I can't let Mr friskypockets win
  
• e's threat of enforced jogging and belief in the power of nagging
  
• Philip's gleeful offer of horrible violence if I fail
• Karen's proposal that the rhythm method might be effective - at least I think that's what she said
• Billy's diversionary rant about popular music - presumably designed to make me lose weight as fast as possible so I can close this blog down...
  

But the winner is antipodean Suzanne, who put a spring in my step with her suggestion:
Rest assured, we have the perfect solution. A trip to NZ. Honestly, a bit of fresh air and the pounds will fall off. Failing that, we'll have a da*m good time and drink to excess. Has to be done. That is all.

I will be presenting Suzanne with her reward in late September and, if she asks particularly nicely, I may even help her consume it.



It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
President Abraham Lincoln

Week 23

3lbs on...

Week 22

The graph's beginning to look like a rather indecisive snake, pondering on whether to go and eat a particularly fat grasshopper or to bask in the sun avoiding temptations which would affect its waistline (and at least I don't have to worry about having a waistline which stretches from my neck to my toes...) - left, right, left, right - up, down! Nevertheless, I have lost 2lbs since I resumed this torture healthy way of life, so let's hope I'm back on track. The clock's ticking so I've got to get on with it!



The Right Hon. was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say 'When!'
P.G. Wodehouse

Week 21

Hi. Remember me? Sorry for disappearing for a little while. I needed to lick my wounds and be allowed to try and fill the emptiness with overly calorific foodstuffs.

Needless to say, that didn't work, and today I have resumed my diet with fresh determination to succeed in reducing your bank balances as well as my waistline. In the interim I've gained a further 3lbs - but I'm sure I'll shed those quickly.

I started my new job a week and a half ago and have been transformed into someone who gets to work at 8.30am instead of 9.59am. Perhaps this is the beginning of a whole new energised me who will scoff in the face of chocolate eclairs and say pshaw to bags of chips drenched in vinegar.




Perhaps...

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall
Confucius