Dieting Schmieting (Week 33)

Sorry this is rather late - been rushing hither and thither today as the great clean-up gets into its 3rd week.

Well all I can say to any budding dieters out there is, have a flood and move in with a parent - the weight will just fall off! Actually the main thing I put it down to is the limited opportunity to slob out in front of the telly and the fact that more than one person has an interest in the contents of the fridge. As a result, and despite a reduction in dedicated exercise, I've lost FOUR POUNDS this week. Hip hip hip hip hooray!!

I'm beginning to fit into clothes I haven't worn for several years. Picked up a pair of jeans yesterday, looked at them and thought "they'll never fit", and they do - perfectly! They're still a size 20 - but they have a waist and are a distinct improvement on the size 26-defiantly-squeezing-into-a-size-24 that I was 8 months ago.

Isn't it horrible to find out that you're not unique? It's only recently that I have discovered that I am far from being the solitary diet blogger that I thought I was. For those of you who are gluttons for more than just punishment, there's a groaning sideboard of reading matter for you out on the web. The best place to start is with The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl, the author of which is featured in a new book - Tales from the Scale. There are a lot of us out of there!

According to diet lore, "indulging" or "giving in to temptation" is a "sin". Strangling a few people is a sin. Invading East Timor is a sin. Ethnic cleansing is a sin. Testing nuclear weapons in the Pacific is a sin. I'm sorry, but eating doesn't quite make the grade.
Kaz Cooke

A Refugee Writes (Week 32)

It's been another exhausting week, dealing with insurers who change their stories every time I speak to them, and visiting my flat - the rain forest - periodically to check on the dehumidifiers and rescue more of my stuff. On the positive front, some times I've been too tired to bother to eat so, despite not having counted a calorie for two weeks now, I have managed to lose another pound.

I didn't ask people to pay up their sponsorship last week because I feared the stress of my domestic crisis might push me back in the direction of those well-beloved cheese and ham sandwiches. But I'm remaining fairly strong so have now called in people's pledges.

My present to myself for losing the third stone last week, was Crazy Water, Pickled Lemons: Enchanting dishes from the Middle East, Mediterranean and North Africa. Enchanting indeed - once I dragged myself from the prospect of Ottoman Lamb with Sultan's Pleasure, Flower Scented Truffles and Ladies' Navels with Cardamom and Rose Syrup and Berries, there are many healthy and scrumptious recipes for me to experiment with. Date Stuffed Mackerel with Spicy Broth and Couscous is definitely worth a try, as is Arab-Andalusian Monkfish with Saffron, Honey and Vinegar - yum!

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.
Ellen DeGeneres

Ruth’s Recipe for 3lbs Weight Loss (Week 31)

Ingredients:

• 1 Ruth
• 1 exuberant Labrador
• 2 tumbling children
• Multiple cute guinea piglets and ostrich-like hens
• Good friends, good food, good wine
• 20 gallons of water
• 2 policemen
• Sweat and tears

1. Remove Ruth from store cupboard and place her on a freshly oiled train for 4 hours. On arrival in Devon, ferry her to rural idyll for relaxing weekend.
2. Send her on gentle 3 mile walk with dog and friends. Apply sprinkling of rain water as required.
3. Feed and water her and place in a dark room for seven hours. Then awaken with the chirrup of a mookoo clock and relish the string of swear words that ensue.
4. Expose to tree planting ceremony, persuade tumbling children that Ruth really will break if placed on trampoline, then take on extended walk ending with a faceful of holly and a field full of ankle-wrenching tussocks and cows with a wild glint in their eyes.
5. Return Ruth to store cupboard, placing her on slightly less well oiled train for another 4 hours.
6. Meanwhile, liberally apply water to store cupboard through bathroom and bedroom ceiling, ensuring that walls and floors are all evenly soaked. Check that laptop, books, papers and furniture are also properly drenched. Avoid wetting already traumatised cat.
7. Apply policemen forceably to front door of neighbour’s flat upstairs to cut off water supply once sufficient damage has been experienced.
8. Relocate Ruth plus cat to temporary store cupboard for 2-4 months enriched by maternal care.
9. Garnish with sweat, tears and exhaustion in equal measure and serve.

And that means the 3rd stone has finally left this mortal coil - certainly took it long enough! Graphs and pictures will return when hard drive recovered (keep your fingers crossed) and new digital camera USB cable acquired.

Week 30

Morning everybody.

The petits fours and canapes have done their worst - my stay at this gorgeous hotel at the weekend has resulted in 1 pound on (or to be precise 4 pounds on / 3 pounds off). My sojourn in Devon this coming weekend will not have such a devastating impact. e has threatened promised a weekend of deprivation healthy living and I have a dreadful feeling I'll be expected to jog for my breakfast...

Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down.
Mary Pickford