Thursday, March 31, 2005

Week 12

This week the friend and commenter affectionately known as Deranged of Dublin has suggested that I am, in fact, a womble.

Remember you're a womble


Little did he know what a procession of disaster his innocent observation would cause.

After a full scientific analysis it turns out that I don't need to lose any weight at all! I am a perfect shape for a womble. However, I do need to lose 5 feet in height. I'm hardly going to lose those by cutting out chocolate, so now I need an entirely new strategy. Non-gory ideas on a postcard (or in the comments box) please...

Anyway, prior to this complete change of tack I would have been very happy to mention that I've lost another 2 pounds, meaning there would have been just 3 stone 11 pounds to go - doesn't that sound better than 6?

Time for another movie methinks.

Ruth's Weekly Weightloss @ 31 March


I'm in shape. Round is a shape... isn't it?

Anon

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Week 11

An entirely undeserved one pound off this week. Bizarre given how many times I've broken my diet! But never look a gift pound in the mouth...

But it's official. Slimming is bad for my health. Chest infection this time - there goes my Easter break. See you all next week.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

I Was Perfectly Fine (Hommage à Dorothy Parker)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

  • A convivial evening with friends in a wine bar
  • A small white wine spritzer - so far so good
  • A large white wine spritzer - not quite so good
  • A large white wine spritzer - without the spritzer
  • Another one - to keep it company
  • Quarter pounder with cheese - isn't it fortunate McD's is still open at 10 to 11?
  • Fries
  • OK, OK, I mean large fries
  • Packet of roast turkey slices - shouldn't have opened the fridge
  • One lonely looking Green & Black's choc ice

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

"Didn't I eat any dinner?" he said.
"Oh, not a thing," she said. "Every time the waiter would offer you something, you'd give it right back to him because you said that he was your long-lost brother, changed in the cradle by a gypsy band, and that anything you had was his. You had him simply roaring at you."

Dorothy Parker: "You Were Perfectly Fine"

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Week 10

The Gin & Tonic Diet

Well there's a turn up for the books! Another 3 pounds off - so many of you owe me, or rather owe ActionAid, some more money. Go on, trust me - it actually feels rather good to shed those pounds!

Bye bye second stone - may I never, ever see you again.

In honour of this special occasion, I present a particular treat for members of GLADYS. Here's another (secret) graph - so keep it under your hat, won't you? This one tracks my weightloss on a daily basis - and shows that things are far more up and down than the weekly total suggests. It demonstrates why everyone says you shouldn't weigh yourself daily - the rollercoaster ride is far too disheartening. But what can I say - I'm a sucker for statistics...

The thick pink line is my target weight for this challenge. The thick black line is my actual rate of loss/gain. The yellow line is what my weight would look like if I lost a steady 2 pounds per week. And the thinner dotted line is the "trend" - what my loss will look like if I carry on at the same rate I have done over the last ten weeks. So all looks well. Until, of course, the next hiccup...

Ruth's Daily Weightloss @ 17 March


Oh, and nearly forgot - today's proof for the doubters amongst you...

The Second Stone Is No More!


I don't jog, it makes the ice jump right out of my vodka tonic.
Anon.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Week 9

Not much to say this week. I'm still not well and, to be honest, am feeling as blue as blue can be. I've had the munchies for days now and have done practically no exercise so the diet is not going well. However, I do weigh one pound less than my "official" weigh-in last week so things are still going in the right direction.

Ruth's Weight Loss @ 10 March


Rich, fatty foods are like destiny: they too, shape our ends.

Anon

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Week 8

Now, some of you will be aware that the Queen has both an actual birthday and an official birthday each year. It appears to me that this is a rather uncrafty attempt to get double helpings of birthday cake but perhaps there is a more profound reason lurking around the place. I wonder if she ages twice as fast as the rest of us...?

Anyway, "get to the point, Ruth!" I hear you cajoling your PCs... (sorry e - and your Macs). This week I'm proud to announce both an official weigh-in and an actual weigh-in. The profound reason will become clear any moment now.

First for the official weigh-in.

I'm happy to tell you that this week I've made up for a bad week last week and have lost a further 3 pounds. Cue huzzahs from loyal subjects waving their hats in the air.

Ruth's Official Weight Loss @ 3 March


Now for the actual weigh-in.

As a temporary result of the gastroenteritis the scales actually show that I have lost 9 pounds. Cue dear husband requesting the Tupperware container of Rice Crispies whilst Batman stares in at the window.

I don't want to claim this week's full weightloss because I'm expecting much of this weight to return once I cease being dehydrated. I'd hate to get you to pay up for the second stone only to have to pay you back the next week... I had already lost 3 pounds before I got ill so I think I'm safe sticking with that amount.

So watch this space for a wondrous weightloss this time next week and get your credit cards ready for action.

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease.
Alexander Pope

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Swings and roundabouts

Yesterday morning I was on top of the world. The health benefits of losing all this weight were beginning to make themselves felt and my motivation was at an all time high.

So of course I have to succumb to gastroenteritis yesterday evening. And I feel just terrible - no end in sight yet. IT'S NOT FAIR!!

And I was really looking forward to going to see the ballet Highland Fling this evening with my gorgeous mother on her birthday (she's actually getting younger every day). But it wasn't to be. Sob.

End of rant...