I Was Perfectly Fine (Hommage à Dorothy Parker)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

• A convivial evening with friends in a wine bar
  
• A small white wine spritzer - so far so good
  
• A large white wine spritzer - not quite so good
  
• A large white wine spritzer - without the spritzer
  
• Another one - to keep it company
  
• Quarter pounder with cheese - isn't it fortunate McD's is still open at 10 to 11?
  
• Fries
  
• OK, OK, I mean large fries
  
• Packet of roast turkey slices - shouldn't have opened the fridge
  
• One lonely looking Green & Black's choc ice
  

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

"Didn't I eat any dinner?" he said.
"Oh, not a thing," she said. "Every time the waiter would offer you something, you'd give it right back to him because you said that he was your long-lost brother, changed in the cradle by a gypsy band, and that anything you had was his. You had him simply roaring at you."
Dorothy Parker: "You Were Perfectly Fine"